To view the festivities tubefree without relying on a sketchy illegal stream, youll need to sign up for CBS All Access, or download the CBS Full Episodes and. Watch Meet The Browns Online Full Movie' title='Watch Meet The Browns Online Full Movie' />Why Your Team Sucks 2. Cleveland Browns. Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Your team Cleveland Browns. Garbage. Garbage. Garbage. Garbage. Watch Five Thirteen Online Forbes. Garbage.  Your 2. This teams poor fanbase cant even plan an 0 1. M/MV5BMjAxOTkwOTMyN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjMzNTY2MjE@._V1_.jpg' alt='Watch Meet The Browns Online Full Movie' title='Watch Meet The Browns Online Full Movie' />Browns fucking it all up I fully expect the Browns to go out there and win one of these games, he said. Just to turn the tables on us. That they did, my friend. FUN FACT The Browns havent won their opening game in 1. Dark Angel Episode 15 Boxing Episode'>Dark Angel Episode 15 Boxing Episode. I mean what do you even say at this point You know how in The Revenant, Leonardo Di. Caprio gets his throat slashed by that bear, so then he has to stuff gun powder in his throat and light it to, like, heal itThat must be what being a Browns fan is like all the time. Just your throat exploding in perpetuity. Say the name CLEVELAND BROWNS and festering wounds spontaneously open all over your body. Now, for the particulars The Browns blew a 2. Ravens and a 2. 0 7 lead against the goddamn Jets. Get the latest Rolling Stone new music news, song and album reviews, free music downloads, artist videos pictures, playlists and more. They lost a fumble that they didnt actually fumble. They let AJ Green tip a Hail Mary pass to himself. Do you know how awful you have to be to make the Cincinnati Bengals look like a model of competence The Browns pull off this trick every year. Its breathtaking. The Browns also lost to the Dolphins because their kicker missed three field goals. Did I mention that their special teams coach asked them to sign another kicker for that game, but the Browns signed a cheaper kicker insteadAnd did I mention that they flew that discount kicker in to watch him practice, but then never saw him practice becauseand this is truethey had to leave for Miami before they could What hope does your team have when it cant even coordinate a fucking Delta flight properlyIn Cleveland, Congress clowns you Were not done. The team held a job fair that had no actual jobs. Corey Coleman got hurt instantly. Quarterback For The Day Cody Kessler got hurt throwing the ball backwards for a safety. One of their beat writers accused the team of secretly hiring ESPNs Bill Barnwell with no actual proof. They somehow fucked up by scoring a shitload of draft picks from Philly in exchange for the right to draft Carson Wentz, then fired all the scouts that liked Wentz. Only the Browns. Only the Browns could turn such a shrewd draft day haul into chicken shit, and its not even the first time theyve done it. TIME TRAVEL SOUND EFFECTS The pick they got for Trent Richardson became Johnny Manziel. Join us this year when the team finds a sack containing 1 billion in cash and promptly invests it in kazoo futures. RG3 found new bones to shatter, and then got divorced Your coach Designated patsy Hue Jackson, who has already quietly feuded with the teams front office and had to replace his defensive coordinator after just one year on the job. And who did they hire to replace the hapless Ray HortonOh no. No. NO NO NO IT CANNOT BE Oh God, you went and hired Greggggggggggggggggggg For real, how does this man keep finding work Shouldnt he be coaching in Estonia or some shit Gregg Williams is Rob Ryan without any of the charm. I hope you enjoy multiple personal foul flags and busted coverages, Cleveland. Watch Woman On The Run HD 1080P. Those are the hallmarks of any Gregg Williams defense. SO INTIMIDATING. Youre beyond fucked now. Your quarterback spins wheelThis team is like an estate sale for quarterbacks. Last year they played Josh Mc. Cown, RG3, Cody Kessler, Terrelle Pryor, and Charlie Whitehurst. The good news is that four of those quarterbacks are gone. The bad news is that one of them was your best wideout. The even worse news is that THIS is what you have to work with in 2. OH YEAH HOOK A CAR BATTERY UP TO MY NUTSACK AND TURN ON THE JUICE. You already know the details here but Ill run through them one more time just to twist the knife The Texans traded a 2. Cleveland just to be rid of Brock Osweiler, and the Browns openly mused about trading or even cutting him immediately afterward. But they didnt, and now hes your likely starter. Join us in Week 8 when Brock gets hurt accidentally sticking his ostrich wing into a fucking ceiling fan. The Browns have now gone from regular sucking to deliberate sucking. Its a nice change of pace. As for the rest of the depth chart, theres living concussion Cody Kessler, who is the lone holdout from last seasons barge fire. And then there is De. Shone Kizer. You might remember De. Shone from the time he was benched by shrieking mangoblin Brian Kelly, or the time he boasted that he was Tom Brady in Cam Newtons body Why cant I be the greatest The only thing stopping me from it is me. My friend, the Cleveland Browns will almost certainly have something to say about that. Im just glad that De. Shone quickly blamed the uproar over that quote over lack of context. Its like RG3 tutored him in Transparent Phoniness without even meeting him It will not shock you to learn that the list of Notre Dame QBs drafted since 1. Browns quarterbacks through that same timeframe Jimmy Clausen. Brady Quinn. Jarious Jackson. Rick Mirer. Steve Beuerlein. Blair Kiel. Rusty Lisch. What a pedigree. They may as well have drafted someone from a prison team. Im gonna go have a seltzer. Whats new that sucks Say hello to new Senior Personnel Executive and Man Talking Too Loudly On His Cell Phone At An Airport Bar, Ryan Grigson Yes, Ryan is fresh off taking a sledgehammer to Andrew Lucks career, and now hes all yours You can be sure that he will find the last smoldering ashes of this franchise and snuff them out with his Kenneth Cole wingtips. As for the team itself, it isagainst all mathematical probabilityworse than it was a year ago. Terrelle Pryor is gone. Gary Barnidge is gone. Joe Thomass memory is gone. The Browns have chosen to entrust their fate to a rookie class that includes Kizer, No. Myles Garrett who has openly admitted to taking plays off LOW MOTOR, failed drug test alum Jabrill Peppers, and Florida defensive tackle Caleb Brantley. In April, Brantley was accused of punching a female student, and the Brownsiest part of this is that they drafted him without completing a full investigation of the incident, with GM Sashi Brown openly speculating about cutting him depending upon what they found charges against Brantley were later dropped for insufficient evidence. Thats the 2. 01. Browns for you a team of players theyre not even sure they want. Also, the team traded for Jamie Collins in the middle of last season and handed him 2. When Bill Belichick is mysteriously willing to hand you a seemingly good player, you should DEFINITELY give him a lucrative extension in the early stages of a massive rebuild and assume hes not riddled with lead tumors. What has always sucked I know the Osweiler trade was a breakthrough in NFL salary dumping technology, but its still insane to think that the Cleveland Brownswho have never displayed anything remotely resembling competence and are owned by an embezzling truck stop piratehave finally solved the whole rebuilding thing. Theyre run by a baseball egghead who couldnt even run a baseball team properly, and they just hired Grigsonwho is a glorified coffee mug inspectorto help with personnel. Does that strike you as revolutionary The tech industry is nothing but a mirage of highly paid bullshitters, and the Browns cant even do a good job emulating those bullshitters. Even when this team does things right, it does them wrong. The Osweiler deal will somehow come back to haunt them. Kizer will throw nine million interceptions before the Browns draft another victim to take his place. Garrett will gain 9. Josh Gordon will have his 7. The Browns are a great cursed monkey paw that bring misfortune to all who come near them. One of the great lies of history is that Bill Belichick had to fail in Cleveland in order to learn what he needed to do right once he got another shot to be a head coach. But you and I know better. Funny Videos, Funny Clips Funny Pictures. You Can Choose Your Friends, But You Cant Choose Your Family, Unfortunately.